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Sunday, March 16, 2014

Why I Won't Ban Bossy

I'll preface this by saying this really isn't fitness related but it's confidence related and I think the two go hand in hand.  :)

On Facebook last week I shared this article on Facebook.  If you haven't seen it, let me give you the short version…Target photoshopped the crap out of some girls butt in an picture of a bikini bottom and people were upset, saying this sends the totally wrong message to young women.

That same day my husband came home and showed me the "Ban Bossy" video.  I lost it.

While the Target article and Ban Bossy video cover two different topics I think they both touch on the same issue that is driving me bonkers- why do we keep trying to control others and keep playing the victim?  (I'm speaking mainly to women because I am one).

It really just baffles me.  Yes, I understand that some young women after viewing photos of women that have been photoshopped feel less confident and I also understand that some young women shy away from leadership roles/positions in fear of being perceived as being bossy but "raising hell" with Target and campaigning to ban potentially offensive words is comparable to trying to talk the school bully into being nice. Despite all your effort, it may not happen.  It's not worth your time.  IT IS OUT OF YOUR CONTROL. 

As I mentioned on Facebook, there will always be companies trying to make you feel less than so you buy their product.  There will always be individuals (at every age) trying to put you down and limit your success so they look better.  That's life.  Is it right?  No.  Does that suck?  For sure.  Is it sad? Absolutely! Are you helpless?  Heck no! 
We can help raise stronger, smarter, more confident women.  We can help raise young women with confidence so solid that when they see photoshopped images the aren't even phased.  We can help raise young women with unbreakable drive so when someone tells them they "can't", they work even harder.  We can help raise young women who are comfortable in their own skin regardless of what others say or do.  
I can imagine that some of you are thinking it's absurd that I just let Target off the hook or let people who call me bossy get away with it.  I'm not letting them get away with anything.  Instead of trying to control these everyday situations I'm choosing to give my time, attention, and effort to control what's inside my four walls.  I'm choosing to show my kids when someone knocks you down, you get back up.  Show them when someone tells you you're not good enough, you prove them wrong.
If we let every comment deemed degrading or insulting to affect our confidence I think we would all be pretty hurt souls filled with anger towards those who have hurt us.  As some point we have to realize that when we let others views shake our being it's our loss, not theirs.  Let's take responsbility for our own feelings and who we let influence them.  In my opinion, blaming others for our low self-esteem only leaves us powerless victims.  
At the end of the day, you can wave beautiful, photoshopped models in my face and call me bossy all you want. It doesn't bother me.  I know in my heart of hearts I have drive, determination and confidence.  I am in control and I am not a victim.  
Your turn:  Agree?  Disagree?  Please, all view points are welcome.  I'd love to hear what you have to say on the topic!    


  1. I totally agree with your POV, especially "blaming others for our low self-esteem only leaves us powerless victims!!" People need to take charge of their own lives!

  2. I agree with you! I have responded with #PassLove movement on my blog ( because I believe it's so important to really get to the ROOT of the problem!

  3. Love, love , love this post! I agree with you! Media in general does not make it easy for young girls to have confidence of their own and have self-worth.